Barba's Revenge
by Nanami Nanase
Summary: It's a Zelda II fic. A party where everyone is happy ends up in a tragedy.


  
Warning: This fic contains gore and sex and, even though everything in it is written in a one hundred per cent artistic way, it shouldn't be read by minors.

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BARBA'S REVENGE 

In the royal palace everyone, and when I say everyone I mean all the people that meant something to princess Zelda, had gathered to celebrate the hero Link's latest triumph over Ganon, even though the fact that it had only been a more or less pathetic shadow instead of a frightening beast made the whole thing taste a little bitter. "Yeah, but the Thunderbird was a tough nut to crack I say," Link used as an excuse for the hundred time. "I would like to see you in a fight against him, Horsehead."  
"Shut up and bring me some more wine, you loser," Horsehead answered. Link was just about to draw his sword when the doorbell rang.  
"Oh, my," Zelda giggled. "More guests. This is going to be even more fun. The princess went up and opened the door. Instead of guests she saw the mailman.  
"Express letter to Celbda and Lingk," he said.  
"Oh, thank you handsome. Here, let me give you something extra for your trouble. Oh, what a cute little zipper."  
_Omg, I love this job_, the mailman thought for himself. _Wonder if she's a spitter or swallower._

Two minutes later Zelda came back to the dinner with a letter in her hand. "It's to me and Link," she said. "But of course I'll read it out loud for everyone to hear. Oh, how exciting." She started.

I hate yuo all.  
Im not only gona destoy your  
party, but I wil kill all ov you.

Sinnserly  
Barba

Zelda looked around in the room. "Oh, no! I totally forgot about Barba! He must be sad because I didn't send him an invitation while everyone else got one."  
"Sad?" Link said. "With that attitude it seems more like he's pissed."  
"Yeah, whatever," was Ironknuckle's comment. "We must find him soon. Let us all split up and search the palace."  
"No!" Zelda screamed. "I won't allow it. Maybe he'll come here and kills us all, but there's no way I'm letting him ruin my party. So sit down and keep having fun, all of you."

Even though they all tried their best to cheer up and laugh at Link's dumb stories about his adventures it wasn't the same thing as earlier. And it even got worse shortly afterwards when Barba came up through a hole in the floor and swallowed Ironknuckle including the horse. And two minutes later the same thing had happened with Link, Helmethead and Gooma as well.  
"This is ridiculous," Carock said and looked at Zelda. "Are we just going to sit here and wait until that dragon has eaten us all?" He left the table and headed towards the door. "I'm out of here. Thanks for nothing."  
A well aimed fire ball hit Carock and finished his poor life. Horsehead flew up from his chair and smashed the morning star on Barba. But it wasn't enough and in a moment the dragon was chewing him.  
Now the princess couldn't hold back anymore. She started to cry so much that the tears made her dress all wet. "Sniff…sniff…this should be the celebration of the peace that's finally arrived to Hyrule. But…sniff…because I made one little mistake it ended up with…sniff…everyone fighting. Why can't I make anything right?"

Epilogue

Barba was in the desert around the palace he once had guarded, but he didn't know about it, nor did he care. He wandered around in Hyrule without any other intentions than just to keep going. A crow passed over him and by routine he spitted a fireball at it, but didn't feel any joy at all over the terrified bird's death. No, the only thing he could see before him was the tears of the heartbroken princess Zelda and the only thing he could hear was her scream when she realized that he had burned every town and killed every human in her kingdom before he had come to ruin her party.

For the first time in over a year he stopped. A dried out tree stood before him and from one of its branches a skeleton wearing some pink rags hanged in a rope. "So I found you at last, princess," Barba whispered. He climbed up to the branch and dropped the skeleton down to the ground. Then he put the rope around his own neck.

THE END 

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Author's note: First of all a small apologize to all my fans who has been kept waiting way too long for this fic. I got totally stuck in the middle of it and simply just couldn't decide which direction it should go after the letter. The next fic should be based on strategy game x-com, which seems like a really hard challenge. So don't expect that one to be around for a while.

Best regards  
NN

Previous in this series:  
1, Cloud's Abominable Experiment (Final Fantasy VII)  
2, Princess Next Door (Breath of Fire III) 


End file.
